Esther as a Dying Flower
While volunteering at her local hospital and distributing flowers, Esther notices several withering flowers on her way to the materinity ward and decides to dispose them in a basin while commenting on its similarities to placing dead bodies in a morgue. Esther also later mentions that her reason for discarding the dying flowers was so that the patients who just gave birth wouldn't have to look at pitiful, droopy flowers.
This scene immediately jumped out to me when I read it because I saw an interesting parallel betwen Esther's actions in throwing away the flowers, and her own ideology about herself. With Esther believing her condition to be hopeless and incurable, she sees herself as one of the dead flowers that deserves to be thrown away. Much like how Esther thought that the depressing presence of the dead flowers would contaminate the positive aura of the other flowers, she worries that her condition will bring down the people around her. In particular, she worries about her mother, who Esther thinks wastes copious amounts money on useless treatments for her. Esther doesn't necessarily want to die, but as a self-proclaimed hopeless imposter to society that will never find a way to fit in, she feels it's the best option to committ suicide and separate herself from the rest of society.
I think it's also interesting to touch on the patients' reactions when Esther distributes the flowers to them. Several of them complain about not seeing the specific flowers that they were promised, implying that they would've prefered receiving the sad, withered flowers over not receiving them at all. In the same sense, Esther feels like everyone around her doesn't want her to die, even if it means she has to spend the rest of her life in her condition. With the people surrounding her all harboring this ideology, Esther feels even more isolated as she feels like she's the only one who understands why it's beneficial for her to die.
This way Esther views herself as like a lost cause was really not something that I had thought of but it makes a lot of sense. Through this lens the reactions of the people in the hospital seem sort of beautiful in a way but Esther definitely doesn't agree. And in the end their reaction only makes her feel worse, so maybe the way that they want her to just continue even though she sees herself as completely broken isn't helping her get better and they need to try something different to reach her so that she can recover.
ReplyDeleteYes, and I think this comparison in even more evident when you consider 1) that Ester sees her past as her time of "bloom" or most beauty (winning scholarships, getting good grades, etc), and how she thinks she must only be good for those things and that she's reached the end of her purpose or usefulness and 2) she poses with a flower for the end of the trip photoshoot. Maybe that has some significance too.
ReplyDeleteI had never thought of this scene that way. She feels that she has no purpose in life (other than to get married and have kids and not have a fulfilling job), so why bother living? I hope that Esther can take inspiration from those around her that cling onto life, no matter how hard it gets.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me so much of Mrs. Dalloway who was a middle class woman in the twentieth century who also saw her life as a flower bud (see this is a recurring theme among women who feel trapped by society I guess). A woman has a short time in which she is in full bloom, no matter how much she has prepared for that bloom, she will ultimately wither and die. Esther's case is an interesting one. I don't think she actually ever "bloomed" in New York. At the end of the book we may see a beginning of her coming into bloom, but I don't want to be too optimistic.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. Even though the story of Mrs. Dalloway is pretty different to Esther's, I found myself noticing parallels between the two books. For example, I found the way Doreen was characterized somewhat similar to the way Sally was characterized in Mrs. Dalloway (although they're obviously different). Similarly, I also noticed that both character seem to have a conflict with the society they live in. I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed.
DeleteAlso, I think it's interesting to remember the film, The Hours. That film had the story of three woman during different time periods experiencing something similar to Mrs. Dalloway. What really struck me was how similar Esther's story is to the story of Laura Brown (the lady living during the 1950s). Both of the women seem to feel suffocated by the suburbs and the expectation that they will stay home with the children. Laura Brown and Esther are different in that Laura is already stuck in her role as a housewife, but I still think the similarity is there.
DeleteI really liked your description of this scene and I hadn't thought about it in this way, but I think you are right. I think Esther also feels like she knows the "truth" in a way, and everyone else doesn't. I mean, Esther thinks she knows the world would be better without her, and everyone else just thinks it's better with her. She's convinced herself that she isn't needed, and everyone else is just programmed into their silly little suburban beliefs.
ReplyDeleteThis is a perfect comparison. I definitely agree, and I find the end especially interesting. She sees the world through her eyes (with depression), and in her opinion life isn't worth living in her condition. However, others don't see it that way. They'd rather have a damaged Esther than no Esther at all, which is kind of sad but also shows that the people around her actually love her (not how she describes them through her lens).
ReplyDeleteYeah I think that supports the idea of Esther being a perfectionist, with her grades and college and everything.
ReplyDeleteWow, this is such an interesting and great analysis. I hadn’t realized the significance of the scene with the flowers before and this was eye-opening and shows some super clear connections to everything Esther is thinking and going through.
ReplyDeleteOne of the many parts in this novel that stood out to me especially was the scene that you discuss where Esther was contemplating reaching out for help, before meeting Dr. Nolan, but that she feels “hopeless” and feels that she would just be forgotten and a burden to others. Through this scene especially, and many others, this connection to the flowers highlights that and is reflective of much of Esther’s mindset and feelings.
And the analysis of the patients’ reactions is so compelling as well. I definitely agree. This scene further shows that each thing Esther does, even if it’s directly aimed to please others, is met with criticism and rejection. She feels put down, unaccepted, and isolated even more and that she cannot escape.
I think this scene and your analysis really help illustrate these concepts that are central to what Esther is going through.
Ariana brought up your blog post during class so I really wanted to read it and I was not disappointed!! This was such an interesting and small detail that I didn't even really notice that much or take the time to analyze but you're totally right--the flowers are such a clear and telling symbol for Esther and her own journey and beliefs. While Esther definitely sees it as kind of a negative thing, is it weird that I find the women wanting the withered flowers somewhat hopeful and positive? I think it just tells a more positive message that peeks through the depressing narrative about how while Esther (or people in general) may find themselves a lost cause or "dead", someone else may find comfort, beauty, and happiness in them.
ReplyDeleteThis was very interesting insight, I hadn't thought so much about the flowers before, but the parallels you draw make a lot of sense. I think your last point is particularly interesting - the more those around Esther want her to recover, or at least not die, the more distant she feels because she alone understands her own situation of wanting to commit suicide.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read this scene, I did not analyze it nearly as much as you did. The last point you made was the most interesting parallel to me. The concept of the dying flowers being prefered over a different set of fresh flowers representing Esther's declining condition and the perceived obstinance of those around her is a fascinating one.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great metaphor! It also makes me think about how hard Esther tried to adhere to social standards before she burned out, which you could liken to a sudden yet impermanent bloom as well. Furthermore, since flowers are intended to attract pollinators you could make a connection to the insistence from her mother/other people that she marry Buddy. I think the point which she wilted was when she was removed from those routines and situations, she lost almost her entire sense of self because it was defined by scholarships and reluctantly fueling unwanted relationships.
ReplyDelete